Saying NO! Nicely

We are constantly drilling it into our children to be polite to others, use their manners, smile and say thank you, but what about teaching them that it's okay to say NO? My parents raised me to always be polite and curtious which I really appreciate now because I am sure that my manners and the occasional "Yes Ma'am" have helped me out more than I'll ever know. They did not however tech me that it is just as acceptable to tell someone No when they ask for help say moving or for a ride when you know you will be rushed and possibly late. I have done many favors for people and wasted a lot of time just because I didn't want to say No. We are raised to please but at some point we need to also learn that the first person who should be happy is ourselves. After all if we are not taken care of then how can we adequately take care of others?
In the words of my father "When your emotions are up, your logic is down". When I get asked for help I want to always say yes because I want everyone to be happy but then I usually say yes nd panic later as I am reworking my schedule. Now when asked for something that could mess with my schedule I don't give an answer right away if possible. I might say I need to check my calendar or discuss plans with my hubs first and will get back to them. This way I can take a moment to look over my To Do List, breathe and decide from there. If I jump to saying yes right off the bat and later get rushed, I will be frustrated and maybe rude to my friend. Situation= me grumpy, my friend who needed help will be confused by my rudeness all because I had no tact in saying No. When the moment arises a good thing is to thank the person for thinking of you. Politely say "I'm sorry but I can't watch your kids on Thursday but thank you for asking me."
Showing our kids how to decline a request for help in a nice manner cn save them frustration and waisted time in the long run. Just like everything else I encourage small steps when trying to change something. So don't drop out of the carpool but maybe cut back to only 3 days a week. Good Luck!